What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

When sharing a wife, is it best with your buddy or a stranger?

{RING} {RING}

After a few moments he returns.

Sure no problem officer.

What was the most inappropriate thing your parent caught you doing as a teen? Was in the bedroom, I thought nobody else was home. My sister and I shared that bedroom but I knew she was gone. I didn’t know my dad was home though.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

HELLO

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Why won't my mom let me come home if I'm homeless?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

What is your most intimate experience with your best friend?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Yes sir it is.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Have you ever answered your door in lingerie?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.